Saturday, January 31, 2009

O-Mazing Grace!

I was going to post my hatred for the worst Superbowl commercial I saw yesterday, but seeing how there were so many things that pissed me off yesterday, the Eagles not being there mainly, I've decided to share this for now . This video is much more important. I don't know if this guy is a crackhead, smokes meth, dust, had a stroke, or is just a fucking asshole, but this video is absolutely incredible. He has the voice of an angel... Around 3min is when it really gets good!

I also wanna say thanks to everyone that checks out my blog and give a shout to the top 10 Entrecard droppers for the month of January. Check their pages out, there's some good stuff out there.
1)The Junk Drawer 2)Lola's Diner 3)Retro Yakking 4)Kitchen Retro 5)Starcasm 6)Rocket Scientist 7)LOL Factory 8)Beyond Left Field 9)Over a Cup of BARAKO 10)Viewpoint Publication

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Friday, January 30, 2009

Progressive Insurance Commercial Hate

FAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL! I have seen so many of these Progressive commercials and every time I see a new one its like the knife is getting driven deeper into my chest. Flo. Flo. Flo. How I hate you. This ladies voice is like a screaming banshee from hell brought to Earth just to destroy my ear drums. I can't take it, I can not take it anymore! I swear I have mini seizures every time I see and hear these commercials. Where the fuck did they find this goofy Olive Oyle looking sack of shit and why the hell did they put her on t.v. to sell god damn insurance??!!!! "Look at the deal we just got him, that's enough for 1 bullet and 1 gun to kill yourself with Flo!" I hope some uninsured asshole in a van runs you and your big tricked out name tag the fuck over!

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Caption This!

I've seen a lot of these and have decided to join in because some of the stuff people come up with are hilarious. So caption this!

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Bender Ball Commercial Hate

"I love my abdominals, yes I love my belly, I just love my abdominals!" FAIL! Are you kidding me???? You open your commercial up with a stupid asshole bimbo airhead bitch who can barely even pronounce the word abdominal! I love my abdominals! Fuck you. "I love my abdominals, my husband can barely keep his hands off me!" Yeah he can barely keep his hands off you because he's trying to push your fat wrinkled prune abs away from him. I love my abdominals! And I love the master method...A SIT UP! Yes your right "Master Trainer Leslee Bender" doing thousands of crunches and sit ups in the gym does absolutely nothing! Master Trainer Leslee Bender I love my abdominals! Fuck you. What are you thinking trying to sell a tiny ball for doing sit ups with an asshole who probably doesn't even know what the word abdominal means and a fat old hooker who probably hasn't seen an abdominal since the invention of the big mac! Take that ball and bend it up your ass Master Trainer Lesslee Bender! FAIL!!!! I love my abdominals!

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Friday, January 16, 2009

Subway $5 Foot Long Commercial Hate

Ahh yes the infamous $5 foot long commercial from Subway. FAIL!

Holy shit!!! What the hell is going through the heads of the advertisers that came up with this spine tingling commercial???? This one has really pushed me over the edge. What the fuck does Godzilla and airline attendants have to do with subway hoagies?? OHHH NOOOO Godzilla is coming, everyone quick dance and sing like a fucking asshole about Subway and he won't hurt you! FAIL! God every time I hear this little jingle my head feels like a tumor is about explode in ear drums! And the newest commercial, which if you haven't seen it be thankful I couldn't get a hold of that tasty little number, with these asshole construction workers dancing around the job site about singing about $5 dollar foot longs???? The village people must really be need of cash! When's the last time you've seen construction workers dancing and singing about $5 dollar foot longs out in broad day light?? What were they thinking?? I can see it now, sitting around like a bunch of assholes trying to figure out how to sell their shit hoagies, "Guess what Godzilla, airline attendants, and the Village People have in common." "I like how you think Johnson. Of course Subway hoagies!" Fuck you. I hope the creators of this Barney sing-a-long choke on those nursing home smelling Subway foot longs from hell!

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Saturday, January 10, 2009

UPS Commercial Hate

First off I just wanna thank Angi at We Sleep For Dreaming for the Honest Scrap Award

But that needs to be put on hold for a minute because the UPS guy is putting me on the brink of insanity!

If I have to see this stupid Mr. Rogers sounding asshole again I might have a seizure! What in the hell were they thinking putting this pedifle on air???? He looks like wants to be drawing candy and cartoons to attract little kids to his own personal UPS van rather than these retarded spoofs for UPS! Seriously I'm just waiting for Chris Matthews to pop out with the police asking him why he brought mini white boards with a naked Sponge Bob on it to the park. And what is that cheesy music playing in the background? Is that the music that plays in his personal UPS van when he's driving around the neighborhood trying to catch little kids!?!?! FAIL! Here's a thought for you Mr. Rogers. How about you go sit in the middle of the street, shove that whiteboard up your ass, and have a UPS van run you the fuck over!

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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A Little Post New Years Humor

No it's not any commercial hate. A friend of mine showed me this on youtube and it is too funny not to share with everyone. This video is honestly one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. It is the hit sensation Benny Lava music video from India self translated by Buffalax. The English translation is his interpretation of what it sounds like in English and is truly incredible!

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Friday, January 2, 2009

Shamwow Commercial Hate

What better way to start off the new year than sharing some pure and utter hatred for the soulless assholes that created Shamwow.

Ok, Ok, Ok....WHAT THE HELL! Who in god's name was put in charge of hiring the spokesman for this ridiculous product???? I swear to god all they did was go down a back alley and looked for the biggest most cracked out looking meth addict they could find, threw a giant oversize microphone on his stupid bucked toothed face, and sent him out there in front of the camera with a giant bag of meth and told him to get busy! FAIL! "Made in Germany everybody knows German's make great stuff". What is he really talking about here? The shamwow or the bag of meth he smuggled in his ass on the plane ride back to the U.S. Cleans up wine, coffee, cola, blood on the floor from a meth overdose. Whatever! Watching this guy try and sell a product is watching a crackhead speak on cops. Here's an idea for the makers of this commercial, product, and the bucked tooth methhead asshole trying to sell it. Take that shamwow and see if works as a parachute as you jump off the nearest cliff in Germany! Assholes.

Thank you to Retro Yakking for the Proximidade Award!

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