Wednesday, April 8, 2009

How To Really Use ShamWow

As I'm sure you are all aware of ShamWow Vince's recent career change from the methed-up German loving infomercial pimp to the methed-up German hooker boxer. ShamMeth I figured he's gonna need to show his own personal uses of his ShamWow to really sell this product to his newly found audience on his new cell block.

First, every celebrity going to court needs something to hide their face with. Why not try a ShamWow. Perfect size and width for the average German face! ShamCamera

Buff the shit out of that hooker's ass until you can see your face in it. Buy a ShamWow HookWipe now and we'll throw in a bag of meth and some of Pimp Vince's very own HookWax!

slapUse your ShamWow to wipe off your hooker's face after a nightly beating for not wanting to kiss you. Or to wipe that irritating hooker spit from your mouth after choking them.choke

So take it from Pimp Vince. You'll be saying wow every time you use ShamWow!

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  1. You're insane giving away this type of advice for free on your blog. You should take this down and start production on HookWipe and HookWax like...yesterday!

  2. Who is this guy, and why does he have a bag of dope in the first pic?

  3. Oh Vince, how far you've fallen. And just when you were about to make it big in the infomercial world.

  4. That ShamWax picture is priceless!!!

  5. But will it scrub away unwanted back hair?

  6. Hindleyite-See Here and Here


    freetheunicorns-He had it all. On top of the world, but still the stench of hooker spit pulled him in


    David-Only on hookers

  7. I don't have anymore Humor-Blogs votes today!

    I owe you one ... this was Freakin' side-splitting.

  8. That hooker's just lucky he didn't use the "Slap-Chop" on her....

  9. IS that Vince in the last photo... pretending to drink from a cellphone and listen to a bottle! Oh my, he's a comedy genius! He'll go far (apart from the crack and hooker stuff.)