Yes the German loving meth smoking asshole from ShamWow is back again, but we won't be hearing him pitch his German meth towels any time soon because his silver tongue was bit by a $1000 hooker! Apparently this juiced up asshole paid for just "straight sex" with a hooker in Miami and decided to try and kiss her. What is this world coming to? Who would have thought that if you try and kiss a hooker she might try and bite your tongue off?? Who in god's name would try and kiss a fucking hooker?????????? You might not know where that mouth has been...Wait. You know exactly where that mouth has been!!!She's a HOOKER! Well after this sweet little street walker bit his tongue the ShamAsshole beat the hell out of her until she ran out of the room to the hotel lobby to call the police. The ShamJerkoff is now facing felony battery charges. At least we have all learned a valuable lesson from all of this....DON'T DO METH!
This is the old douche bag usually in his 40s or 50s with the fake bake tan, high shorts, a cut off shirt, and the towel over his shoulder. A real fucking jerk. They usually make their mark by walking around the gym not really doing much, just acting like they are the coolest people to walk the Earth. They jump from machine to machine, standing after each rep to look around, making sure everyone knows how cool they are. They often stop to think to themselves "I am still young, look everyone can see how cool and young I really am." FAIL.
Twig Boy is the skinny little prick, arms no bigger than a ski pole, that walk around wearing an under armor spandex shirt or just a tank top and try to lift way too much weight than they can handle. This specimen can be seen at any local gym around the country. Dude come on, take that fucking spandex shirt off before it snaps your twig arm in half. FAIL.
This little beauty can be found running miles and miles on the treadmill because "she is just so damn fat." Little does this specimen know that she is a whopping 35 lbs. Why do you think they tie themselves to the treadmill? Just watching them run is painful. With every step it looks as if their bones are just going break into a pile of dust and blow away. Stop running and eat something you dumb fuck!
This is the women, 30s or early 40s, walking around in the tight pink spandex, the towel over the shoulder, visor cap, and their infamous fanny pack of water bottles and various supplies. A close relative to Mid-Life Crisis Guy and sometimes mother to Twig Boy. They can usually be found power walking or making themselves look like even more of an asshole doing Tae-Bo kicks on the steps. Get a fucking job!
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